It’s hard to know where to begin. As I write I am thinking about how she told me in high school to take typing. I did not. I took needlecraft and art. Who knew typing would become the key to life? Fern knew, so mom you were right. I am typing with 3 fingers looking at all the keys.
There is never a day that goes by that I don’t say these words in almost every conversation: “My mom told me….” Or “My mom thinks…, or “I was talking to my mom and she said…,
And in this case because I always listen to my mom, she told me, LuAnn you are a writer, you need to write, so today, I wrote.
Fern came into this world, in a hurry, a ball of fire. We called her “Fern the Burn” because she loved to go, to play, to always be completely engaged and involved in her life and all of our lives.
As a wife, she was totally dedicated to my dad for almost 50 years. I used to think that everyone had a “Lou” story, but I am also sure everyone has a “Fern” story as well. I am sure he was so happy to see her arrive.
My mom was a great networker. She did not need FaceBook, although she did always ask me what was going on there so she would not miss anything. I’m sure she is here right now because this is a big event and one she would not want to miss this.
My Mom had her own social network. We called it the “daily broadcast” and I know lots of you in here today were on it every single day: Aunt Mary Ann, Carol, Threase, Rosie, Dukie, Sharon1, Mary, Fern Webster. And those were just the early morning calls. I know I got my call, right before my mom would “go to lunch”. Which, by the way, was “code” for something else, particularly if she were with some of you and you know who you are! No need to name names!
She loved all of her friends, some of whom she had for all of her 79 years.
As Aunt Fern, she was truly a right of passage. Who doesn’t recall finally being as tall as Aunt Fern? That’s 4’11 and one half.
She loved all of her nieces and nephews. My mom was all about those noisy, food filled gatherings at holidays and summer parties. Because family was everything to her.
She loved music and dancing. I think in another life she was a performer, perhaps a dancer and maybe a singer.
She could not get over that we had someone in our family who could sing. I know she is beaming with pride at this Mass we just heard.
And just for a moment we have to mention Dancing with the Stars. She could not get enough of this show! She could call every score. She could have been a judge. She made us call Fern Webster from her hospital bed Tuesday night so she could weigh in. And as Fern Webster told me last week, she would always say, I can do that dance, Fern. This was true, she could really dance! Just 2 years ago, although she could barely walk, she had a little divine intervention at a wedding reception and she and Uncle Roy hit the floor for a jitterbug. They drew quite a crowd! I think it was a moment of great joy! When I asked her how she was able to do that, she had no answer.
We read in one of my mom’s journals last night that she wondered what kind of person that we thought she was. She knows that her kids loved her, but if asked what kind of person was your mom, what would we say?
Are you kidding me?
Fern was our mom, our hero and the leader of our tribe. She was our “go to “person for everything. She championed all of our causes! She was tough, but also compassionate. She was intuitive and insightful. She was both really fun and funny. She was both restless and patient, but only because life demanded it from her. She was loyal and generous with her time. If she liked them, she made our friends, her friends. She was both a good listener and a great life coach, for her family and her friends. She loved this life and tried to live it to the fullest everyday.
Fern was generous with her heart; she was a “fixer” and a really great listener. She could sort of keep a secret, but you had to tell her to keep it in the vault, otherwise it went out on “the broadcast”. She always called it as she saw it and lived life on her terms.
We were all very different and the only thing she truly wanted was for us to be happy:
Tony, the most colorful child. He needed her the most. I’m sure she is with him now, laughing, but he did give her a run for her money when he was here.
Tina, her loving, carefree, reliable daughter. For many years she was the only daughter in town, an honor I am sure she will always treasure. She loved you beyond words, Tina.
Greg, her son-in-law who has been a part of our family for 20 plus years and was always there for whatever my mom needed.
Vince, her only son here. There was not one thing he could do wrong. If I were on the phone with her and Vince came down the steps, she had to go because St. Vince was in the house.
Sharon, my sister in law and what we consider to be our other sister. You had the greatest of all compliments: she loved you like a mom and thought you were a good wife for her son.
Gina, her baby and what we called her “only child”.
Mom would tell me that Gina was the most like her. I think it was because Gina was the only one who would challenge what my mom would say.
Mom was so happy when you moved back here. Gina, you made her life, even the very challenging parts, full of laughter and fun.
And me. I can’t even write these words. She thought I was spectacularly talented, smart and just a good person. She told me, just now as I type this, that I am one of her finest works, and that I will carry the best part of her with me always.
Vincent, Melissa, Carly, Rhianna, Leah, Tony and Lily.
She loved her grandchildren and her great grandchildren but was not a typical grandma. She taught them about the importance of family, to play cards, to crochet a scarf, and to make a meatball. And God knows, she could crochet like a maniac. This year she made at least 300 scarves. She said it was relaxing. And although she claimed not to be an animal lover, she did love my “curb stone”, Frank.
Mom loved her brothers and sisters-in-laws.
Uncle Roy, “my brother Roy” she would say. She thought you could make or build anything, anywhere, anytime.
She loved your stories and your sense of humor.
Her heart was broken for you and your kids when Aunt Barb passed away. She said her life would not be the same and it wasn’t. I am sure Aunt Barb was waiting for her and so very excited to see her.
Uncle Pat, “my brother Pat”, she would always say.
She was simply awestruck by your talent. She was one of your biggest fans and she would tell everyone what a fabulous painter you are. She loved you so much
Aunt Mary Ann, you were her rock and her soul sister. I think the two of you have been together in many lives before. You could finish her sentences, and in my opinion, you will live on always as her extension. I am sure she is already missing you like crazy.
How I like to envision the other side for my mom is this: She enters a room with a huge long table. She has perfect vision and can walk with no pain. To the left is my dad and to the right is Tony and next to him are Aunt Barb and then Grandma and Grandpa and all the aunts and uncles. They are all well and so excited to see her! The table is filled with a feast of favorite foods and wine and flowers. And she has the seat at the head of the table.
And just to the right, there is a door that says “casino”.
In there everyone plays and wins, over and over again.
That would be my mom’s heaven.
